[TITLE] [AUTHOR] [SOURCE] [PRG] [FILEPATH] [DELAY] 0 [CD TRACK] 0 [BEGIN] ******** START SCRIPT ******** [00:01:18] What are you doing Jeremy? [00:01:21] [00:01:23] What's it look like I'm doing Kyle? [00:01:25] [00:01:27] Rockin' out! [00:01:28] [00:01:29] I am the Pwnage, bitches! [00:01:34] [00:01:42] Pure Pwnage [00:01:44] [00:01:50] So, Jeremy, what is this anyway? [00:01:52] [00:01:52] It's this uh.. [00:01:53] [00:01:54] ..some kind of new game this company sent me today. [00:01:56] [00:01:56] It's kind of like.. uh.. [00:01:57] [00:01:57] .. push the buttons on this big controller when the lights come at you? [00:02:01] [00:02:01] I guess it's kind of like playing music. [00:02:03] [00:02:04] Cool! Are those drums? Can I like play along with you? [00:02:06] [00:02:06] uh.. yeah.. they're drums.. [00:02:09] [00:02:09] ...but.. no, you can't. [00:02:11] [00:02:11] Why not? [00:02:13] [00:02:13] Cause, Kyle, this is like a game.. and.. you're kyle ! [00:02:16] [00:02:16] Well, I'm a musician and I play the real drums, so playing these drums shouldn't be too hard. [00:02:22] [00:02:24] Sure, Kyle.. [00:02:25] [00:02:26] Okay fine, you can play your plastic band games by yourself, have fun. [00:02:29] [00:02:30] Kyle, can I take a break in peace!? [00:02:31] [00:02:31] I've been working like all morning. [00:02:33] [00:02:33] Oh yeah, you've been working all morning... [00:02:34] [00:02:34] Well, first of all, you got up at 2! [00:02:36] [00:02:36] And second, all you've done since you got up was play Call of Duty! [00:02:39] [00:02:39] Well.. [00:02:40] [00:02:40] One, Kyle.. [00:02:41] [00:02:41] Morning is like relativity.. okay? Kind of depends on when you get up. [00:02:45] [00:02:45] And two, [00:02:46] [00:02:46] Like.. COD4 is my job! [00:02:47] [00:02:47] Oh, COD4 is your job is it? [00:02:48] [00:02:48] Jeremy, working at a grocery store is your job.. [00:02:51] [00:02:51] No, Kyle, that's my part time job... okay? [00:02:54] [00:02:54] I've got like, multiple sources of income [00:02:56] [00:02:56] No way! [00:02:57] [00:02:57] Is this a microphone? [00:03:00] [00:03:04] No? [00:03:06] [00:03:12] You know kyle, like.. [00:03:13] [00:03:13] I've been having a lot more fun at these LAN tournaments than I expected. [00:03:16] [00:03:16] Because at home, if you pwn a noob, you just kind of get to laugh to yourself. [00:03:20] [00:03:20] Right? But.. [00:03:21] [00:03:21] ..at a lan party you can point at him and laugh right in his face, you know? [00:03:25] [00:03:25] Or if a noob is all QQing about lags, or hacks, or something, you can like.. [00:03:29] [00:03:29] ..point at him and like laugh right in his face! [00:03:32] [00:03:32] There's like so many more possibilities, you know? [00:03:35] [00:03:35] -Yeah, there's also the possibilities that you're going to get punched in your face... [00:03:38] [00:03:38] Oh, come on, Kyle, that's not going to happen! There's something called sportsmanship! [00:03:43] [00:03:56] Hey, Jeremy!|-Hey, Steve! [00:03:57] [00:03:57] What game was it this time? [00:03:59] [00:03:59] Let's see, that was COD4... [00:04:01] [00:04:02] ...think that was Smash Bros.|That was CS. [00:04:05] [00:04:06] This was uh... that was Starcraft! [00:04:08] [00:04:08] ... and that was, uh... [00:04:11] [00:04:11] Can't remember that one... [00:04:13] [00:04:13] -Wasn't that one from playing DDR? [00:04:15] [00:04:15] DDR? [00:04:17] [00:04:17] No! I wouldn't play that... [00:04:21] [00:04:26] Kyle, could you like not mention this to teh_masterer? [00:04:29] [00:04:30] He doesn't really like me doing this kind of stuff... [00:04:32] [00:04:32] -Yeah, I'll be sure to not bring it up next time we are hanging out having beers together... [00:04:38] [00:04:42] Yeah, I can get you breakfast today, Kyle! [00:04:45] [00:04:45] You can get mine tomorrow! [00:04:47] [00:04:47] -Why would I buy you breakfast tomorrow you still owe me like 5 breakfasts! [00:04:51] [00:04:52] Well, cause, you know... tomorrow's like... [00:04:53] [00:04:55] You know, it's.. [00:04:56] [00:04:56] -Are you ready to order? [00:04:59] [00:04:59] Yeah, can I get like a #1 with bacon [00:05:01] [00:05:01] and, uh.. wheat toast.. um.. eggs done like over medium [00:05:05] [00:05:05] -Anything else? [00:05:06] [00:05:06] Yeah, get me like a big orange juice too, like the biggest you got... [00:05:08] [00:05:09] and two more sides of bacon, and uh.. I guess it's kind of cold outside.. so hot chocolate too! [00:05:15] [00:05:21] -Jeremy, do you remember what happened to all the hair money? [00:05:23] [00:05:24] Yeah, I think I spent it, Kyle. [00:05:26] [00:05:26] -Yeah, but what did you spend it on? [00:05:27] [00:05:27] I don't know, why do I care Kyle? It's gone! [00:05:29] [00:05:29] -Jeremy, you're going to have to learn about money management one of these days... [00:05:35] [00:05:38] -Uh.. I'll go get a napkin... don't worry... [00:05:41] [00:05:44] -Okay, Jeremy, you could have least used a five. [00:05:47] [00:05:48] Yeah, I guess... [00:05:50] [00:05:56] -You ever heard the expression, "A fool and his money are soon parted" ? [00:06:00] [00:06:00] You ever heard the expression, "I made more money than you today, Kyle" ? [00:06:05] [00:06:17] -So Jeremy, what are you going to do now? [00:06:19] [00:06:19] I don't know, think I might go to T-Bag's, like, pump some iron, you know? Gotta work on these pythons! [00:06:23] [00:06:24] What are you gunna do? [00:06:25] [00:06:25] -I was gunna follow you around and film you! [00:06:27] [00:06:27] Okay... [00:06:28] [00:09:27] Dude! [00:09:28] [00:09:28] You rock! [00:09:30] [00:09:35] I pwn noobs! [00:09:36] [00:09:37] -What? [00:09:40] [00:10:00] Man... I'm so tired! [00:10:03] [00:10:03] So tired! I went out last night. It was like me, snoop, went to the club. [00:10:08] [00:10:08] I was like grinding up with a girl here, there was another girl grinding up on my leg here, one leg grinding up on my neck over here..|just grinding up right here, but it felt good. [00:10:15] [00:10:15] And we're like grabbing them and there was like booties and like bums and like... [00:10:20] [00:10:20] You know, because there's booties and bums, right? There's different sizes and... [00:10:23] [00:10:23] I think I got like a tit in the face by one of the chicks. Yeah.. yeah.. [00:10:25] [00:10:25] I think I got knocked out by a girl with a tit... [00:10:28] [00:10:28] Man, you should have been there, you should have been there...|It was live! It was crazy! It was crazy! [00:10:31] [00:10:31] It was a live night! | [00:10:33] [00:10:33] Live! Aw man! [00:10:35] [00:10:35] Yeah... [00:10:36] [00:10:37] What did you do? [00:10:38] [00:10:39] -Aww pfft, well I mean like, Dave came over, right? [00:10:42] [00:10:42] You know, Dave's so crazy, like, makes all this food, but there's just the two of us,|we gotta like eat it all ourselves! [00:10:48] [00:10:48] and then, uh.. and then.. we just started partying like real hard... like we totally partied... like all night. [00:10:55] [00:10:59] Yeah... [00:11:01] [00:11:01] -Totally... [00:11:02] [00:11:05] And then... uh.. like I just.. I just got up because I was so tired... cause we like, you know, like partied so hard... [00:11:10] [00:11:10] -Crazy... [00:11:11] [00:11:12] Jeremy, man... [00:11:13] [00:11:14] I gotta talk to you about Doug... [00:11:15] [00:11:16] I know that you guys have like past beefs and whatever... but... [00:11:19] [00:11:19] ...but Doug is... he's a cool guy man... [00:11:22] [00:11:22] He's a cool... he's a fun dude! [00:11:24] [00:11:24] Like, last week we were cracking jokes and everything. [00:11:27] [00:11:27] We were like let's get some grub, let's get something to eat, right? [00:11:30] [00:11:31] Then, all of a sudden, he just stops and he hears something! [00:11:34] [00:11:34] And, I'm like: "Wha.. What?" [00:11:36] [00:11:36] And then he like jumps and does like about like 10 backflips in the snow and shit [00:11:40] [00:11:40] I'm like: "What's this guy doing!?" [00:11:42] [00:11:42] I'm like laughing there and people are like: "What's wrong with this guy?" [00:11:45] [00:11:45] And he's like:|"GET DOWN!" [00:11:46] [00:11:46] "GET DOWN! GET DOWN! GET DOWN!!!" [00:11:47] [00:11:47] And I'm like: "Yo, Doug! What.. the fuck is wrong with you?", right? [00:11:50] [00:11:50] And there's people like looking around like: "What is going on with this guy?" [00:11:54] [00:12:02] It was like "Saving Private Ryan" |"GET DOWN!" [00:12:05] [00:12:05] Like some "Apocalypse Now" shit!|with like... snowflakes and shit! [00:12:09] [00:12:09] Doug is off the chain! He's off the chain, man.|You gotta love doug, ya gotta love doug! [00:12:14] [00:12:17] Like yesterday, right? [00:12:18] [00:12:18] We're playing COD4 [00:12:19] [00:12:19] Doug.. he.. never.. dies..|Never fucking dies! [00:12:23] [00:12:23] So, we're playing, right?|and then like 3 hours into the game, he gets sniped! [00:12:27] [00:12:27] Sniped! [00:12:28] [00:12:28] And he goes ballistic! [00:12:30] [00:12:30] And he's trying to keep his cool... but...|Motherfucker gets spawnfragged! [00:12:33] [00:12:33] Takes my guitar, and smashes the shit out of my xbox! [00:12:38] [00:12:42] Smashed your xbox!? [00:12:43] [00:12:43] What are you gunna use to trian? [00:12:45] [00:12:45] Like... that's not funny!|-What do you mean!? [00:12:48] [00:12:48] I'll just call up bill for another xbox!|"Hey Bill, get me an xbox!" "Alright!" [00:12:53] [00:12:53] It's all about sponsors, baby! [00:12:55] [00:12:55] Right, Jag!? [00:12:56] [00:12:57] Sponsors, yo!|-Mmhmm [00:12:58] [00:13:00] Man, you wouldn't believe the free shit that I get! [00:13:02] [00:13:02] I'm telling ya man! [00:13:03] [00:13:03] You wanna big screen TV? I'll get you a big screen TV! I'll get you one by 4 o'clock! [00:13:06] [00:13:06] But, you need to talk to people!|I don't know why you got no sponsors! [00:13:09] [00:13:09] Yeah...|-Yeah, man! [00:13:10] [00:13:10] Why don't I have sponors, like i could use those...|-Yeah! [00:13:13] [00:13:13] I like free stuff...|-Mhmm [00:13:14] [00:13:15] Ya gotta stop messing around with all these different games you're playing! [00:13:18] [00:13:20] Well...|If one wants to truly pwn, you know, one must pwn at all games! [00:13:25] [00:13:26] -What kind of Dumbass told you that!? [00:13:29] [00:13:29] You gotta find one game!|You find one game, and you stick to it! [00:13:33] [00:13:33] That's how you make the loot, man! [00:13:35] [00:13:36] Get your ass out of the basement and into the real world...|You got mad skills, now go make mad money! [00:13:44] [00:13:44] Yeah, I guess... [00:13:48] [00:13:53] Oh by the way man, I got your Mario Kart there... [00:13:55] [00:13:55] YO! YO! YO!|What in the name of shit are you doing!? [00:13:59] [00:14:00] I have reputation to hold!|Damn... [00:14:03] [00:14:04] It's "T-Bag", not "T-Fag"! [00:14:06] [00:14:09] Oh, like tomorrow night, are ya doing something? You wanna come by? [00:14:13] [00:14:13] Oh uhh, you know what? I can't. |I got... I got plans. [00:14:18] [00:14:19] Okay that's cool...|-Yeah, sorry... [00:14:22] [00:14:24] You know maybe he's like right, Kyle...|like... [00:14:26] [00:14:26] I don't know what the masterer has against making money anyways, you know? [00:14:29] [00:14:29] Always talking about purity, and gaming, and stuff...|Well, you know, a guy's gotta eat! You know? Have lots of luxuries! [00:14:35] [00:14:36] Gotta make some money, Kyle, it's time for me to get focused! [00:14:39] [00:14:41] -Okay so what happened to focusing!? [00:14:43] [00:14:45] Gunna focus in a bit, Kyle, you know?| I had a long day... [00:14:48] [00:14:48] I just wanna take a break and chill with my guitar for a bit before I start gaming, you know? [00:14:51] [00:14:51] -Jeremy, you are playing a game, what are you talking about? [00:14:54] [00:14:54] No Kyle...| this is music! [00:14:58] [00:14:58] -Oh yeah, that's music?|Jeremy, music is an art form it is about creating something! [00:15:04] [00:15:04] Kyle, I'm about to create the world's top score if you can STFU for like one second! [00:15:10] [00:15:17] -So what happened to all this money making business?|I can't imagine there are any tournaments for this game! [00:15:22] [00:15:22] Kyle, nobody makes money playing music!|Just something you do for the love, Kyle! [00:15:28] [00:15:42] Way to go Kyle!|Now I gotta do it again! [00:15:44] [00:15:44] -Okay, whatever, Jermey!|How 'bout you just make sure that you come up with your half of the rent money next month! [00:15:52] [00:15:54] K fine!|I'll train some COD4, only for like half an hour... [00:15:58] [00:15:58] ...gotta go to bed soon, gotta work at the grocery store tomorrow! [00:16:02] [00:16:18] Ahh, he got Jackson! [00:16:21] [00:16:30] Ahh, he got Thompson, too! [00:16:34] [00:16:41] Oh no, Murphy!|Gotta find Jeremy! Gotta find Jeremy! [00:16:47] [00:16:52] She's like: "Jeremy, I've been in the crouch position like all day, maybe it's time we went prone!"|And I'm like: "Okay, I'm a nice guy..." [00:17:00] [00:17:00] -Jeremy! |Jeremy, Jeremy! [00:17:01] [00:17:03] There's... there's a maniac out there!|He.. he's shooting everyone in the head! [00:17:07] [00:17:07] We gotta go, we gotta change servers!|We gotta get out of here! [00:17:10] [00:17:10] -Well, I'm kind of telling a story here, and I'm kind of like at the best part.|So if you could STFU that would be cool. [00:17:16] [00:17:16] -Jeremy, we are going.. to.. die!|We need.. to leave! [00:17:21] [00:17:21] -Well, noob, noob...|you're with Jeremy now! Come on, no ones gunna die! [00:17:26] [00:17:29] LOL! [00:17:30] [00:17:30] So anyways, so she's all like: "Can we get down in the prone position and I'm like sure I'll get right down in there, you know, cause..."|-Uhh, Jeremy, shouldn't we go kill that guy? [00:17:39] [00:17:39] -Yeah, okay, fine, yeah, I'll go kill the guy, okay!?|You just, just stay here... [00:17:44] [00:17:43] -Okay, yeah! I'll stay here! Yes...|Someone's gotta guard this uh.. flaming.. barrel... [00:17:48] [00:17:53] Pwnerer! Come out to play! [00:17:58] [00:18:04] YEAH! [00:18:05] [00:18:19] Oh, I know you're in there! [00:18:21] [00:18:23] Where ya hidin'? Where ya hidin'? [00:18:25] [00:18:52] Okay.. uh.. I'm in pain now... [00:18:55] [00:18:55] -Ya, kind of, oww, hurts a bit there... [00:18:58] [00:18:59] -Dude this really sucks! I got like one hit point left! [00:19:03] [00:19:03] Ya, me too, I got like two hit points... [00:19:06] [00:19:07] -Now some noob is going to come along and grab both our kills! [00:19:09] [00:19:09] Ya, I know, both sitting here like a couple noobs on the ground, you know? [00:19:13] [00:19:16] Dieing is kind of gay, it's just a lot more fun being alive, you know?|Don't ya think? [00:19:21] [00:19:22] Doug?|Doug!? [00:19:25] [00:19:25] Oh no..|Oh no! [00:19:29] [00:19:29] You're dead!|Doug, I didn't want it to be this way, Doug! [00:19:34] [00:19:36] You're my best friend, why are we on opposite teams!?|I don't even know how it happened, Doug... I'm sorry! [00:19:41] [00:19:41] I'm sorry about the Tagi stuff, I'm sorry for ignoring you, I'm sorry for making fun of your ping, you know?|If I could go back I would change it, I really would Doug! It wasn't supposed to be like this! [00:19:54] [00:19:54] We're supposed to win together, Doug, both of us!|-Dude, I respawned like five minutes ago! [00:20:01] [00:20:01] Oh! Should I switch teams? I can go marines!|-Or do you want me to switch? [00:20:06] [00:20:05] Unless you wanna come opfor?|-Well, we should probably play on the same team anyway, man we'd be unstoppable! [00:20:12] [00:20:12] Oh, we are going to pwn this server! [00:20:16] [00:20:21] -One, two, three|-On three|-Okay|-Shut the fuck up! [00:20:25] [00:20:31] Surprise!!!|-Happy Birthday!!! [00:20:39] [00:20:42] You guys remembered? I didn't even remember, to be honest!|Like, I just totally forgot! like.. [00:20:49] [00:21:27] Alright, it's time for presents now! [00:21:30] [00:21:34] I know how excited you are for brawl...| [00:21:36] [00:21:39] So I imported some Japaneese Gamecube controllers! [00:21:42] [00:21:47] That's so cool! [00:21:48] [00:21:50] So what did you get me? [00:21:51] [00:21:52] Well, I don't know... let me see...|Tastes like your favorite cookies! [00:21:58] [00:22:00] My favorite cookies? [00:22:01] [00:22:08] Dave, these are really good!|-You're crazy Dave! These are the best cookies ever!|-Shiiit [00:22:13] [00:22:14] Okay, my turn!|-Okay [00:22:18] [00:22:24] Oh! It's.... something?|-I got you a Pat Metheny DVD|Ohh...|-Since you're into guitar and stuff you'd wanna watch... [00:22:32] [00:22:33] Oh, yeah, it's like a new Rock Band tra.. song, guys!|-Oh|-Alright|-Oooh Interesting! [00:22:37] [00:22:37] -No, It's actually the "Speaking of Now Tour" Pat Metheny Group|-Oh|-Okay|-Ohh [00:22:43] [00:22:43] Oh, I like watch that?|Oh, that's cool, thanks Kyle!|Thanks Kyle! [00:22:49] [00:22:50] Interesting! [00:22:51] [00:22:53] Alright Birhday Boy! Here's a gift! Enjoy it! [00:22:57] [00:23:16] Sponsors man! I just made a phone call! [00:23:20] [00:23:55] Hey dude! I'm taking off man, it's late...|-Oh ya, for sure!|Happy Birthday man! [00:24:01] [00:24:01] Ya, man, thanks for coming, the cookies man!|-Bye Dave! See ya later! [00:24:06] [00:24:06] Have a good day man! [00:24:08] [00:24:08] -Bye nice to meet you!|You too, take care! [00:24:10] [00:24:16] You know what? I think I better go too... [00:24:18] [00:24:20] Oh.. |-Yeah I have to head out. I'm sorry I have to get up early tomorrow morning I really need to get a good nights sleep. [00:24:24] [00:24:25] You could sleep here...|-I know but I, um... I have a study group and I promised that I'd meet them tomorrow. [00:24:30] [00:24:31] So... I just, I should probably go... [00:24:34] [00:24:35] Okay|-But I'll come back tomorrow and give you the rest of your present then... [00:24:39] [00:24:40] Okay, ya, that's cool|-Okay|Okay|-Cool [00:24:44] [00:24:44] I'll see you tomorrow [00:24:47] [00:24:53] Bye, Happy Birthday... [00:24:54] [00:25:01] That was kind of weird, wasn't it? [00:25:04] [00:25:04] Ah, you know, she's got school and stuff... [00:25:08] [00:25:08] Well, I just mean the way she left, wasn't that kind of sudden? [00:25:11] [00:25:12] Like on your birthday, you know, you'd think she stick around... [00:25:15] [00:25:15] Well, I guess it's imporant, you know...|She's got other people relying on her and stuff, you know, I guess... [00:25:24] [00:25:24] *Knock Knock* [00:25:25] [00:25:30] I knew she was going to come back, I mean, It's like my birthday, right? [00:25:34] [00:25:39] Sup?|-Sup? [00:25:41] [00:25:43] Is everyone gone... or??? [00:25:45] [00:25:45] Umm... yeah, it's just me and Kyle [00:25:47] [00:25:52] Hey, I've been thinking...|-I've been thinking too... [00:25:54] [00:25:54] Well, I mean... or her|-you, and like about me|Well yeah, and it's... just you know?|-right? like you know? [00:26:02] [00:26:04] Is it cool, can I like come in, or uh...? [00:26:07] [00:26:08] Yeah, okay, ya... [00:26:11] [00:26:14] Hey Kyle, what's up? [00:26:16] [00:26:25] Wanna.... [00:26:26] [00:26:27] Play some COD4, or...? [00:26:28] [00:26:36] Yeah!!!|-You going to run?|Unstoppable man! [00:26:42] [00:26:44] Dude, dude, dude, sniper second floor, sniper second floor!!!|-Flashed him! [00:26:47] [00:26:48] BOOM HEADSHOT BABY YEAH! [00:26:51] [00:27:10] So, what did you guys end up doing last night? [00:27:13] [00:27:13] Oh.. well nothing special really, I just kind of.. bummed around.. and put in Kyle's movie.. fell asleep... [00:27:22] [00:27:38] Yeah, can I get two large Pepperoni? [00:27:40] [00:27:41] I don't know, some greenhouse... [00:27:44] [end] ******** END SCRIPT ********